Self Love, Loving Yourself Correctly

Self love, do you find that difficult? Don’t be surprised but many do. Many seek out witchcraft and other spiritual or metaphysical pursuits for just that reason. Granted, it often starts a longing or fiery need for self-empowerment. It’s because we seek freedom and liberation. We don’t want to be slaves to unwelcome emotions, toxic relationships, repeating unhealthy cycles.

I get that, I really do. But loving yourself is more than that. To love yourself, you must be yourself first. Also, recognize you are three parts of being; mind (soul) heart (emotions) and body; your physical being. You must learn to care for all three. But dang, some folks just want to stand in the way of that, don’t they.

Witchcraft, in the hands of someone who doesn’t love themselves can be so destructive. Not just to others, but to oneself as well. There is always creation and destruction, but it’s intent and purpose that matter. When we stop and think about it, there’s almost always a better way. This is a conversation I often have at our metaphysical store, come visit!

Yes, I will provide you some positive self-love affirmations later in this post, and touches on a bit of mirror magic. For now, learn some basic principles about self-love and self-care.

Loving Yourself is Not About Ego

When you start to love yourself, your life starts loving you back. Things start to change. Some religions will teach that self-love is wrong, it’s a sin somehow. Or, in a manipulative fashion, dictate to you how to love yourself according to their rules.

Self-love sure sounds egotistical, but it’s not. The obstacle people face most often is the internal dialogue they have with themselves. That personal, private dialogue affects everything else. It affects your self-esteem, self-respect, confidence. It is often where self-doubt begins, even self-loathing.

I would like to talk to you about the importance of loving yourself, but also the simplest ways to do so. If you want to participate in witchcraft and metaphysical practices, you need to. You need strength, grace, dignity, authenticity too. You need wisdom and access to higher things. None of this is possible until you step onto the path of loving yourself.

I will tell you, you’re being here is not by chance. You are inevitable and had to be. That is an encouraging thought, so smile. You have contributions to make, but also much to enjoy. Sure, there’s upset or pain in life, but it’s meant to be balanced. You’re here reading this because it isn’t. This is meant to help you correct that. When we start living for the good of all, we become successful. It begins with being good to ourselves.

Take responsibility for your choices and actions, you are obligated to. People can choose to be miserable by making certain choices. Conversely, people can choose to be happy by making other choices. Is that always instant? No, but taking responsibility, loving yourself – that’s where it begins. Remember, what you allow is powerful.

Take a Personal Inventory

Get a journal, start writing. For now, it should be for your eyes only. Three topics; mind, heart and body. Use three separate pages, one for each topic, divide each page into two columns. Be truthful here, an important first step. What you are looking for is not just what is incorrect, but what correct looks like to you. You’re not just looking for corrections either, you are looking for what your authentic self looks and feels like.

I can tell you, when you are not your authentic self, your spirit will not rest comfortably or correctly in your body. This manifests all kinds of problems. Debilitating illness or disease, behavioral health issues, relationship problems, financial woes. The list goes on and on.

For the mind, in column one, write about your current state, in the second column what you wish to be. You can use single words up to complete sentences. This exercise helps you realize and perform a self-assessment. Be honest, in column one; are you frazzled, can’t focus, mentally exhausted? In column two, describe what you think looks correct. Focused? Clear? Coherent?

Now do the same with heart and body.

How often you hear the word “should” in life. Aren’t people always telling you what you should or shouldn’t do? That word connotes obligations, expectations, conditions. Often, it’s meant to imply you’re not capable, when you are. There is a correct mode of caring what others think, and an incorrect mode. Try the positive current tense of the word; I shall ____ when you hear “should”.

Do you care so much about what others think that it keeps you from being yourself? That is incorrect. We can temper our words and actions to be accommodating, but we should never sacrifice who we are.

Loving Yourself Correctly

Ask yourself, do you love yourself enough to be good to yourself? Enough to protect yourself from harm? To give yourself enjoyment in life? Enough to pursue your dreams? To allow yourself to be yourself?

I love myself enough to give my mind a break, teach myself new things or dispense with mental chaos as needed. Also, I love myself enough to not let people break my heart, to choose what makes me happy, to chase my dreams. I love myself enough to study nutrition, eat right, exercise and keep up my strength.

These things are necessary for more than just witchcraft, they are necessary for a satisfying life. However, they are necessary for witchcraft to be strong and effective. Three parts of being and we must care for all three, when we don’t – other parts of being suffer. Often, all three parts of being suffer. If it helps, book a tarot reading in-person at our shop or secure online reading. Self love is also self-care, try a relaxing ritual bath for instance.

Wunjo, The Rune of Joy

In the Eldar Futhark runes, the original Norse runes, one is “Wunjo”, we’ll simply call that “joy”. Not happy-happy-joy-joy or that which is brought on by partying. Nor is the kind of joy that comes and goes, but sustainable joy. It’s like having an undercurrent of this energy that sustains you through life. In the old Germanic explanations, you find there are three things necessary for this energy.

1. You must have correct prosperity energy. Prosperity energy is not money, though money is often involved with it. Think of this more like win-win, or the law of reciprocity, give and take, ebb and flow. Something from you and something from them. Always having what you need, a great or fair exchange. Examine your life and relationships, does it hold true? Or are you doing all the giving or all the taking? Make healthy boundaries, it’s worth it.
2. You must do something meaningful that brings you bliss. Many in this world do something meaningful, but it doesn’t necessarily bring them bliss. This is why the dancer dances, the poet writes, the artist paints and the musician plays. For others, it could simply be crafting, baking, traveling, charity work (one of my favorites). Doing things that make you happy, that tickle you pink, that you long to do.
3. A proper house for the soul; care of the body. Keeping yourself strong, having energy for mental tasks and personal pursuits. Getting the rest you need, eating properly. You’ll need to learn basic nutrition perhaps, set some health goals for yourself etc.

Notice the concept of what is necessary to enjoy Wunjo speaks to all three parts of being? Love it.

Love Yourself Enough to Be Yourself

Notice how one part of being affects the others? If we are chronically sick, can that not cause depression? If we are chronically depressed, does that not affect the body? Don’t those both affect our happiness? Our mindset? It all works together.

Will you be perfect at any one or all three of these? No, you won’t. The idea, however, is to be proactive about it and in doing so, change your life. You will find the two big obstacles are yourself and other people.

Once you realize you can change, and that you can change your whole world, you see everything differently. You start to realize how powerful and effective you can be in your own life, even the impact you have on the rest of the world. It is not inconceivable that one person can greatly change the entire world. History is full of examples. Have some faith in yourself.

Being your authentic self, that’s huge. Ask yourself if the people in your life let you be yourself. Or, are you trying to be someone else for them? Do you sacrifice who you are deep down because you are trying to fix others? Do you let who you really are go because you’ve convinced yourself this or that person is the only one that’s ever going to love you?

Here’s a bombshell clue for you; when you are your authentic self, those that love you love you for who you are. When you are not your authentic self, people only love the mask you wear. It can take some time too, to figure out and be comfortable with who we really are, that’s okay.

Self-Love Affirmations

There is no reason being well, being happy and being healthy is out of your reach. Choices, it all begins with choices. Granted, it takes effort to turn it around, but you are capable.

So, choose to start seeing things differently. We can program ourselves to think in healthier modes, affirmation is a positive exercise.

You can say these aloud at any time, but I also recommend before a mirror. See a higher version of yourself talking back to you reinforcing these affirmations. To talk to yourself is to talk to the universe, the All. To talk to the universe, the All is to whisper to your very soul. Don’t rush through it, write these down and tape it beside the mirror, or even write it backwards and tape it opposite the mirror so you see it in the reflection. Take your time and ponder each one before speaking aloud. When you do, do so with authority.

Affirmations for the Mirror: I

… am worthy of love, I am loved, and I love myself enough to heal my life.

… accept my flaws, my mistakes and imperfects because I learn from them.

… accept myself for who I really am.

… matter, I am here, I claim my space in this universe.

… deserve to be happy.

Don’t forget this world is not a kind place, though there is kindness. This world will try to step on you, push you around and dictate to you. Prepare for ups and downs, it’s natural. It’s a lot easier when you love yourself though.

Lastly, if you have committed to change, to loving yourself, I am proud of you, whoever you are. Go forth and be well, be happy and be healthy. Connect with us for more on Instagram, Facebook (Meta) or TikTok.